Today, my strength comes (in part) from Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking (Ted Talk). We have an opportunity to change our financial and family situation in an immensely positive manner. However, if this opportunity goes our way we are going to have 30 days from today to raise moving and deposit funds. To make this happen we have had to ask for help through gofundme.
Each day, as I commit to the Art of Sacred Living I find myself being strwtched, pushed, and pulled in ways that I never imagined. For me, I feel that part of this journey is to be open and honest (without completely foregoing family privacy) which has led me to be more raw and vulnerable than I ever would have imagined.
As terrifying as this is I cannot imagine any other way. I know reaching out for help to better our family situation is the right thing to do, as is the openness in my writing. But I am scared out of my mind.
Today was very emotional. All of us have always worked hard but it just has not been enough to get ahead. Helping others is so much easier than asking for help. Starting the gofundme is one of the scariee things I have done. Am I comfortable with asking for help, no. But I am also not comfortable on missing a potentially life changing opportunity because of pride and fear.
Then there is the fear of being judged. I am not used to asking for help orputting my vulnerable self put there. Friends have encouraged me to reach out, my divorce taught me the necessity of having my own voice, and with a lot of mental gymnastics I am reaching out. This part of my growth is not comfortable. So I listen to Amanda Palmer, I listen to my friends, I am trusting my inner wisdom, and I am taking a huge leap of faith and adding the Art of Asking to the Art of Sacred Living.
Working through the fear. Embracing the love.