Lineage & Love, Wisdom & Compassion

Your people survived to create you. You are proof that your ancestors were resourceful, creative, and determined. You are proof of love passed down heart to heart, through generations. Even if your being was conceived in an act of violence, or there was force and abuse in your ancestral lines, eons of instinctual, deep mama and papa love surrounds and negates any actions from fear. Linda Hogan summed up the relationship we can cultivate with our ancestors in this way: “Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.” H. Amaya

The ancestors have a way of caring for us when we most need it.  Lessons from our past, as well as people, can reappear at any time.  Relationships that have long been dormant can suddenly find new life.  The fact that these life events are happening the week of Samhain has not escaped my notice.

I recognize the cycle of life and am slowing down to honor this cycle.  Examining patterns to see what changes are needed to both continue and improve the quality of my cycle.  Meditating and honoring my lineage, as well as the experiences and lessons of my past is an integral part of this process of observation and wisdom evaluation.

Wisdom lessons that I have gained from my past need to be reevaluated with the new experiences and cycles that I have been granted.  What parts of your story can be reexamined with compassion and love instead of anger and resentment?  Practice the art of compassion and unconditional love on yourself.  It is the most amazing gift you will ever be granted.  Be gentle with yourself, as this takes time and you will stumble …. often, but keep going back to compassion and unconditional love.  It will aide you in being your authentic self.

A few years ago, I made the decision to change my life and leave a long term relationship.  This decision tested this way of being.  I did not simply stumble often, I fell and sat in the muck and mire of anger, resentment, and heartache.  I did and do, truly believed that being honest, admitting my unhappiness, and moving forward was the best thing for both of us.  This was one of the most difficult decisions of my life and had been years in discussion with the person involved. 

Where I fell, frequently, was at the social discussions and judgements of my decisions.  So many assumptions and judgements were made about me based on hearing a rumor or judging the situation based on appearances.  The ugly things that I heard about myself and actions were painful.  However, my heartache came from learning those I believed I was closest to took sides and judged me.  Personally, side taking and judgements were unnecessary.  No one else had been living this life or privy to the most intimate of details and discussions for almost two decades.  Learning the actions and hearing the judgements of those I trusted is where I fell and sat in the muck and mire of anger, resentment, and heartache. This is where turning the act of compassion and self love on myself was hard, even more so than keeping my silence unless directly spoken to. 

For me, I chose the path of silence because the details of why it was time to move from an intimate relationship to seperate lives were private.  Knowing that our personal goals and desires were no longer in alignment and we needed to part ways, was all anyone else ever needed to know.   The realization that my world had not been filled with the love and compassion that I thought it was has been the most difficult part of my healing and growing process.

I truly believed that honesty would bring happiness.  For me, it has brought unconditional love, the family I dreamt of, and joy.  I wish that same happiness on those in my past.  That wish has been the grounding desire pulling me out of the muck and back into unconditional love and compassion.

The ability to be an observer of life events, honoring the cycles and lessons as they come by gaining wisdom, showing compassion to myself and others, and  being a person of unconditional love and non-judgement would be a wonderful way to honor and enliven my lineage.  It is part of my journey and each moment is another step in that journey.  Will you join me?

Blessings and honor to the ancestors of our heart and hearth.